Who's to Blame?

When things don’t work out as we hope in our careers, it’s tempting to look around for someone or something on which to lay the blame. It’s the fault of that boss that you think doesn’t like you or the co-worker who is undermining your efforts. You would have done better if it hadn’t been for that case of the flu you had during the annual meeting, or if they had adopted your project plan. Office politics, misunderstandings, miscommunications, in-fighting, favoritism, organizational changes - - things just didn’t go your way. The company is messed up, and you deserve better treatment and more recognition. Well, maybe so and maybe not. You need to take responsibility for your fate.

YOUR BOSS DOESN’T LIKE YOU: That could actually be true. It’s always more pleasant if your boss likes you, but it’s not strictly necessary to your success. To combat the effects of a personal mismatch, you must be vigilant about your communication. Be sure your goals are clear. Document your work and accomplishments on a regular basis (weekly or monthly) and ask for specific validation of your work plan. Never let issues fester. Instead, face them head on and ask your boss directly for clarification, advice, feedback, or assistance. If this straightforward approach doesn’t work, you may need to seek reassignment to another department. Some incompatibilities are not salvageable. But, if you make your boss look good and be successful, he/she might learn to like you more.

YOU DESERVE BETTER TREATMENT: Try to take the emotion out of your reaction. What is “better treatment” to you? I’ll assume you get a consistent paycheck. Do you want to get verbal kudos for your accomplishments? You may have to ask for them. Seriously. “Hey boss, did you see that great thing I did? What did you think? Wow, thank you!” It’s sad to have to beg for appreciation, but if you do, it helps your boss understand what motivation you crave. Hopefully, they get the message and adjust their behavior accordingly.

THWARTED BY ORGANIZATIONAL CHANGE: It can be scary and difficult to navigate the tides of organizational change, but that sort of upheaval is inevitable in today’s business environment. Get skilled at dealing with it. Make sure your new boss knows your background by providing a copy of your current resume. If you are not invited to a one-on-one familiarization meeting, ask for one. That is your chance to pitch your experience and skills, explain what you are working on, and communicate your enthusiasm for new challenges.

It is a waste of time to look for someone to blame for your stalled career. Take ownership of your fate. If the issues you face are insurmountable, it may be time to think about moving on to greener pastures.  If the timing is bad, await your chance.