Wanna Lose Your Job? Here’s How.

Who hasn’t worried about getting fired at one time or another? We suffer over that little mistake that we're just sure will bring on the pink slip and send us packing. In reality (assuming a company follows the letter of employment law), it’s not that easy to terminate someone’s employment. When an employee makes an honest mistake, they usually get an admonishment and another chance. An “attitude problem” isn’t just cause to fire someone either; but may result in some painful coaching sessions and a lack of opportunities to be promoted.

In a world of uncertainty, there is one certainty in employment. Violate specific, documented corporate policies and get caught, and you will find yourself on a road to swift and ignominious termination of employment. Commit one of these “felonies”, and soon you will be saying, “How do I apply for unemployment benefits?”:

EXHIBIT CHRONIC ATTENDANCE ISSUES: Arrive late, leave early, take more than the allotted sick days, return late from vacation – it is measurable and all adds up to unreliability.

STEAL FROM THE COMPANY: Cheat on your expense account, pilfer office supplies, and/or use corporate resources for personal projects.

VIOLATE CORPORATE ETHICS POLICIES: All big companies have written ethics policies. Violating some of them can not only result in loss of your employment, but could land you in jail.

HARRASS YOUR FELLOW EMPLOYEES: Complaints about sexual overtures or any threatening behavior that creates a hostile work environment are dealt with as serious and are not tolerated by any highly-evolved organization. Harassment policies are backed by federal law.

FAIL TO ACHIEVE YOUR PERFORMANCE GOALS: How you perform against your annual goals are a measure of how well you are doing your job. If you miss the mark here, you are in trouble and (at best) will find yourself working an Action Plan to exhibit that you can improve your performance.

The author does not intend to make light of job loss, but to offer a serious review of pitfalls that can lead to termination of employment (so that they can be avoided).